Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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