it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
well most of my day revolves around power hour
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
