Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
