how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
