You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Shame is for Republicans.
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