Sry I called you an 8
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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