Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
