A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
