Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
