Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
