What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
