The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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