I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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