My room smells like vodka and shame
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
