My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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