1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
