How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
