I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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