Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
