I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
