At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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