i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
