ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
