I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
