She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
