So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is Oprah even human
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
