What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
