I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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