There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Every concussion has its silver lining
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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