she was so not down for the gang bang
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
