it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize