I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
