He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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