hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I yelled at your uterus for you.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize