I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
