So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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