And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
