im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
