when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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