i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
