When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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