so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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