Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
