Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
