I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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