Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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