I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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