called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
