google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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