He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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